Melissa - my favorite verse

My favorite verse from the Bible is Psalm 18:19b, but I’ve already written about that one in a previous post.  I have so many second favorites that it was hard to pick just one. 

Isaiah 43:18-19 is so encouraging to me.  (I know it’s two verses, but they go together)  “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams of the wasteland.”   

I have many regrets from my past.  Things that I wish I could change, but, of course, never can.  As I’ve written about before, I have fought, and actually still do on occasion, depression (bi-polar to be exact, but not the kind you typically think of).  Because of the severity of it in my past, I missed a good many years of my children’s childhood (to the point that I have absolutely no memory of long periods of time). I stood by them and was somewhat present for those early years, but I was emotionally distant and did not find joy in being a mom.  I am so ashamed of my behavior during those difficult years.  But, my God has shown His mercy and His grace to me by giving me double love for my children now.  I have been forgiven for those past mistakes. 

  Of course, being human, I will sometimes go to the place of guilt and condemnation  for the things I cannot change.  I go into that miserable place as if it is an open jail cell and slam the door shut  to carry out my self-proclaimed sentence of shame, guilt and sadness.  I sit and wallow in that cell as if somehow reliving the past could pay the price for my sins.  That will never pay the price.  It will only prolong the agony of regret.  God is the only one who forgives sin and He has forgiven me and not only that, but He was the one who unlocked that jail cell and set me free from that pain.  He tells me to leave those things behind and not to go back there and relive that time.  He says that He is working in me to create a new person every day.  I am fertile ground and refreshing water, not a wasteland of depression and guilt. 

Are you like me?  Do you tend to go back to a time and a place where you lived in depression and guilt and shame?  Or are you still in that place?  God desires you to be in this present time a healed, whole person who invites the Holy Spirit to work in you to make you a new creature.   

Note to Reader:  I do take medication for the bi-polar disease, but not nearly as much as in the past.  It is a medical necessity in many cases.  I have learned, however, with intense Biblical Counseling (http://www.biblicalcounseling.com/), that I did/do not rely on God and did/do  not speak truth to myself. (notice I still do those things)  Both good truth and bad truth.  I am a sinner and I do sinful things, but I am also a child of  God and He loves me in a way I will never ever be able to comprehend this side of heaven.   Once I confess my sin and ask His forgiveness, He is faithful and just and forgives me.  He has provided a way for me to escape the temptations that once held me captive.  I don’t always choose to use that escape, but it is there none-the-less.